Thinking about asking your fiancé for a prenup? It’s a good idea. Read on to learn how to ask for one and how an attorney can help you write it.
When two people fall in love and decide to take their commitment to another level by exchanging marriage vows, they intend for their relationship to go the distance. But, like the late Canadian columnist Richard J. Needham once said, “You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being.” Because this is true, sometimes relationships shift and divorce happens.
That is why it’s important to have a prenup in place. Although it makes some people nervous to think about, a prenup (also known as a premarital agreement) is a written contract. It’s designed to protect the money and assets that two people have prior to saying “I do”. A prenup can help individuals understand what their financial expectations are during their marriage as well.
If you’re either about to get engaged or it’s getting close to your wedding date and you’ve been thinking about putting a prenup in place, here are a few things that you need to know.
Why Exactly Do You Need a Prenup?
Things like infidelity, marital conflict and feeling disconnected from one’s partner continue to be the top reasons why couples divorce. However, on almost every divorce list, financial issues are mentioned too. And while some people think that only wealthy individuals should consider getting a prenuptial agreement, that actually couldn’t be further from the truth.
Prenups are also beneficial if:
- You had children prior to your relationship and there are assets that you only want them to have if you die
- There are certain debts that your partner accrued that you don’t want to be held responsible for should you get divorced
- You would prefer to keep certain properties or assets separate from your spouse
- There are heirlooms or properties that you want to remain solely within the family that you have outside of your spouse
- You want to avoid a drawn-out and messy divorce by already having a financial plan in place should a divorce occur
As you can see, having a prenup isn’t only “what rich people should do.” It’s also not about “planning to divorce”.
A prenup is about taking steps to enter into your union responsibly. It’s about being proactive and about protecting each other’s finances so that your union can move along smoothly.
Ok, but How Do You Bring Up a Prenup to Your Significant Other?
Just because a prenuptial agreement is a smart thing to have, that doesn’t mean that bringing it up to your partner is going to be easy. If it’s something that you know that you want to have in place prior to your wedding day, here’s what you should keep in mind while approaching the topic.
Broach the Idea of Having a General Conversation About Money
Another benefit of a prenuptial agreement is it can encourage you and your partner to thoroughly discuss money. A lot of couples don’t do that prior to saying “I do”. Whether it’s credit scores, financial obligations or money goals, you both can share your thoughts and intentions. A prenuptial agreement can simply be a part of the dialogue.
Discuss How a Prenup Is Mutually Beneficial
Prenups aren’t one-sided. Just like you have some things that you may want to protect, remind your partner that they probably do as well.
Offer to Draft the Prenup Together
You may have seen a movie where one person presents a prenuptial agreement to their partner out of the blue. That can be triggering for the other individual. That’s because, not only does the person receiving the agreement feel blindsided, but they also had no say about what’s in the contract.
A Prenup Can Take Pressure Off of the Relationship
It will make them feel like this is something that should be done as a team. That can keep them from feeling like they need to go on the defensive as far as drafting a prenup goes.
Legal Representation for the Both of You Is Wise
Sometimes, the thought of bringing lawyers into anything can be intimidating. But when it comes to prenups, both people having separate legal representation, which can make both parties feel confident that both their interests are being taken seriously.
A Prenup Isn’t an “Escape Clause” but a Security Measure
Finally, remind your partner that a prenuptial agreement isn’t about not loving them enough or pre-planning the demise of your relationship. A prenup is about helping you both to feel secure about your finances. That means there’s one less thing to worry about overall.
Get the Help of a Prenuptial Agreement Lawyer
Once you and your partner have agreed on a drafted version of a prenup, it’s a good idea to have a licensed (in your state) attorney look it over. One reason is that, with the proper legal jargon being added in the prenup, it’s easy for it to be invalidated during divorce proceedings.
Secondly, it’s important to have a lawyer’s assistance because, if one of you can somehow prove in court that you were in duress when you signed the prenup, there’s a chance that it could be thrown out. Therefore, an attorney serves as an official witness of your prenuptial agreement.
Finally, if you decide to hire a divorce lawyer to look over your prenup, you can be confident that there will be no loopholes or unpleasant surprises down the road since they are well-versed in divorce law. Their knowledge could end up saving you thousands in the long run.
If You Live in the Omaha, Nebraska Area, We’re Happy to Help
Divorce law is something that we specialize in. If you’d like a consultation on how to create a prenup, contact us by calling (402) 415-2525. We look forward to assisting you with your prenuptial agreement needs.
